Clamp Oswell's College Years

Click here to edit subtitle

Mary Immaculate



Mary lives in Room 5 of UCE Halls Flat B5. As you might guess from her outfit, she is strongly Christian, best friends with the Lord, and doesn't hesitate to voice her opinions on things which offend her - the word 'Clam' for instance. Oddly, Mary studies metalwork - probably so she can make crucifixes and shit.

After a big night at The Union, it becomes apparent that Mary is not a fan of people going around in their pants - who would have guessed?

It's not all oppressive denial however, as Mary does try to accept other people - she even goes as far as telling Pip that she doesn't mind him being gay. Probably a big step for her, however Pip isn't too impressed...

It soon becomes clear that Mary's brain can only handle a certain amount of offense, otherwise it simply shuts off, causing her to faint.

Eventually, Mary starts to worry that she might be boring, so decides that she will dress up for the next big Union party.
When Clamp gets teased for being a virgin, she rallies with him as, surprise surprise, so is she.



1 - Upon hearing that 'Bitch With The Shits' are a Christian band

2 - Upon seeing Babs fall into the Boob-O-Tron

3 - Upon hearing that Junkfuzz came from a Christian cat rescue centre called The Pussy Hole

4 - Upon reading the Arse Map

5 - Upon the prospect of going to a Tarts and Vicars party

6 - When Clamp shouts 'Boobs' whilst she's running


1 - After seeing the costumes for Pimps and Hos night

ARSE TYPE: Mysterious/Off Limits