Clamp Oswell's College Years

CLAMP OSWELL

Clamp Oswell is the hapless hero of the comic (well duh, it's named after him!). After finishing his A-Levels (probably wth distinctively average grades) Clamp is packed off to study English at the wonderful University of Central England.

Despite being frightfully embarrassed by his mum and earning himself the horrific nickname of 'Froggie', he soon settles into flat B5 of UCE Halls.

Forging strong relationships with all of his flatmates, Clamp becomes especially taken with Princess Gemalia, even flushing her toilet on demand - no that's not a euphemism.

Whilst at the Union, Clamp soon discovers his alcohol limits are not very sensible, and once Topps introduces the 'Booze Schedule', he finds himself in some difficult situations.

After a mix up with Security Paul, Pip becomes convinced that he has a chance with Clamp, so Clamp has to now be wary of advances from his flatmate. It is perhaps this confusion that forces Clamp to try and tell Gemalia how he feels about her. He fails drastically. He later attempts to woo Gemalia using a guide given to him by Topps. The final move sees Clamp donning his wings and rushing to ask Gemalia out once and for all. Unfortunately, Gemalia ends up kissing someone else, so Clamp kisses Pip as revenge - it's all very complicated... and slightly gay. After basically ruining everything, Clamp goes home for a bit to get some much needed new pants from his mum.

Once lectures start, Clamp makes a firm friend in fellow English student Catch Posner, and a dangerous adversary in lecturer Betsy Wells.

Clamp gets a cat for his birthday, which he decides to name Junkfuzz.

It later transpires that oddly, Clamp is unable to see the cleaning ladies Liltina and Tropicana - he thinks that Sparky is making them up!

Clamp forgets his Gemalia woes when he meets new girl Tina Pecan - he becomes instantly smitten with her, and is heartbroken when she sleeps with his brother.
Everyone is shocked to learn that Clamp's brother is perfect. We also learn that Clamp is still a virgin, much to the amusement of Pip.

When Movember comes around, Clamp reveals that he can't grow a moustache, however when he mysteriously returns after Christmas, he has facial hair...

Vom Count

1 - Upon hearing why the word 'Clam' is offensive

2 - After having his first flashback

3 - Upon trying out Pip's circular breathing method

ARSE TYPE: Peachy